Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
