just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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