i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize