hell yes lets make some ravioli
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
