did you get engaged???
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
