Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
