Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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