I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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