After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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