He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
He kissed a someone with a penis
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
