wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
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