i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
