you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
