I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
