At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
