she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
