She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
