it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
