And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
the day after is always just damage control
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
