is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
