halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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