Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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