I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
party gras won. party gras always wins.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize