Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
