Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
