so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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