apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
