How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize