Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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