I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
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and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
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110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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