well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
