Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
