genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
