Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
