i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I skipped work to stalk him.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Someone signed my nipple.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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