During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
being pregnant is like rehab
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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