im drinking this country out of the recession.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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