He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
