Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
we're making bets on your personal life
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
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I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
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She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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