He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
its not stalking. its research.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
