Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
