We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
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i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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