I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Pooping to opera.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
