If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
