I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
