Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
