No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
