yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
