btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
