Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Edward fifth and chaser hands
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
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