Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
