forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
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so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
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can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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