yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Randomize
