i just had sex bonerless
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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