3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
