Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
