It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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