On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
