I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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