her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
