HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
